


Entangled

by cazflibs



Series: The Glitches and the Glows [6]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 12:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12059139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazflibs/pseuds/cazflibs
Summary: Captured by GELFs and tied up to one another, Rimmer and Lister realise that entanglement - in every sense of the word - isn't all it's cracked up to be.





	Entangled

As soon as the GELFs had left their two human prisoners alone in the hut, Lister slowly began to count down under his breath.

“Five…four…three…two…one…”

“This is all your fault, Lister.”

Predictable as ever. “I _know_ ,” Lister soothed with an irritable sigh. “I know.”

“It was completely and totally – !” Bound together with coarse ropes, their backs were pressed against one another so tightly that he could feel Rimmer shake with rage as he fought to find the right word. “ – totally – !”

“Irresponsible? Thoughtless? Reckless?” Lister offered dully, somewhat thankful that his roll of the eyes would go unseen. “Feel free to pick any one you fancy.”

Glancing down, Lister squirmed awkwardly in the dust to subtly test the rope’s integrity. At an experimental circle of his hand that brushed lightly against the man’s hip, the rope ground roughly into his bare wrists and he winced. It was no good. 

Not for the first time in their lives together, the pair were completely and utterly entangled. 

“But did they really have to tie us so tightly together?” Rimmer groused. Lister bit back some choice words whilst he was tugged about from side to side as the man embarked on a more animated attempt at freeing himself. Eventually the hologram gave up with an audible grump. “For smeg’s sake, we’ve been further apart when we’re having sex!” 

The Scouser couldn’t help but snort at that. With what little movement he had, Lister still managed a cheeky nudge with his elbow. “Hey - “ he began lecherously. "You’ve never complained about a little bond-”

“Lister,” came the terse interruption. “I know you can’t see my face right now, so I suggest you read the warning signs in my voice and shut the smeg up.”

Lister allowed himself a silent smirk but said nothing. They may have been facing away from one another but he could still picture the hologram’s face; all wound up tight like a spring until it quivered under the pressure, dangerously close to release. Perhaps best not to continue that sentence.

Dark eyes roamed the mud-packed walls innocently, a jet of air escaping his lips. “We always said that we should try and find more time to be alone together.”

There was a fuming silence, before: “There’s not a huge amount of things that we can agree on,” Rimmer bit back. “But I think the sentiment: ‘This isn’t what I had in mind’ may be one of them.”

Shifting to try and get comfortable, Lister sank his head back against Rimmer’s stiff neck with a sigh. He glanced out through the open doorway, listening glumly to the distant sound of squawking birds and the mumbles of a language he couldn't decipher. 

A tickling trickle of sweat inched its way down his temple and he blinked in annoyance. Although it was uncomfortably hot, he had to be thankful for small mercies. Whilst the sun beat down ferociously outside, the air inside the hut was jaded but muggy; thick with words unsaid.

Lister frowned as his entire body began to bounce unwillingly, and he strained to glance over his shoulder. In the blurry edges of his peripheral vision, he could make out Rimmer’s spindly legs that were now jiggling nervously. Most likely only one intended on making the movement; but given that they too were tied together, its partner was compelled to copy.

“Could you stop that?” Lister grimaced, trying his best to keep the flares of irritation under check. “You’re making me nauseous with all that jigglin’.”

Rimmer, however, clearly had no such agenda. “Well, apologies if the hostage situation that _you_ landed us in is making you feel a tad uncomfortable,” he laboured sarcastically. “But one of us is _trying_ to think of a way of getting out of here, you stupid gimboid.”

Lister’s mouth sunk open in affront at the sharpness of the man’s tone. Unlike Rimmer’s recent attempts to blunt it since they'd begun their ‘relationship’ - if that was even the right word - this latest snipe had returned to full-on attack mode.

Trying not to rise to it, Lister took a deep, cleansing breath that didn't quite deliver the promises on the label. “Well how about you try and think with a little less movement?” he suggested stiffly. He turned back to face the wall, dropping his voice to a mutter. “Generally speaking, people use their brains, not their legs.”

The resulting scowl was almost audible. “Well, perhaps I can't think straight through the sweaty fumes that you’re currently producing,” Rimmer bit back.

Dark eyes sank closed as Lister growled under his breath. Was he really expected to smell peachy after the day they'd had? The temperature on this moon had to be pushing 35 degrees Celsius for smeg’s sake, and here he was slowly marinating in a leather jacket. 

He wriggled uncomfortably at the intense vibrations that had begun needling into his back and snorted his exasperation through his nose. “Well, I'm not the only one that _hums_ , y’know,” Lister quipped.

“What are you blathering on about?”

“You buzz.”

“Buzz?!”

Stood at the front of the queue for the Complaints Desk, Reason had just begun its meek reminder that he was being a tad tetchy, when Impatience quickly shoved him out the way and embarked on its own tirade.

“When you're angry or worked up, your lightbee gets all glitchy and buzzes,” Lister grumbled. He arched his back irritably, forcing the hologram to bend forwards. “For smeg’s sake, it's like having a vibrator shoved in me spine.”

“Oh, shove it up your -- ” Rimmer halted that particular line of insult before back-tracking with a grinding of gears. He thrust himself upright with an authoritative clear of the throat and fell silent once more. 

At the persistent vibrations, Lister’s body began to jiggle and grumble in protest. When Rimmer was in this kind of mood, it was an Olympic challenge to keep himself calm. _However, smeghead aside,_ he thought to himself, _he always got irritable and impatient when he really needed a --_

\-- oh.

Anger quickly diffusing, Lister’s eyes flitted around the hut in assessment. Gnawing at his lip, he squirmed uncomfortably before glancing back over his shoulder. “Uh, Rimmer - ” he ventured meekly.

“And if you think you're going to relieve yourself whilst I'm sat in the front row of the Splash Zone, you can forget it.”

The Scouser sighed. He could hold it.

The pair fell into silence once more, each retreating to their own corners to lick their wounds. A grey matted-fur face peered curiously through the doorway, most likely to inspect the earlier commotion. Satisfied that his prisoners were still in place, it drew back into the sunlight, muttering incredulities in a foreign tongue. 

Lister frowned. The furied buzzing from the man’s ‘bee had retreated into a faint hum that continued to gnaw its annoyance into his back. Fighting the urge to glance over his shoulder, he studied the wall as a thought came to him. “Is there a reason you're so pissed off with me?” he asked eventually.

There was an incredulous silence. “You mean, _apart_ from you getting us captured by GELFs and facing almost-certain death?”

“Oh come on, man,” Lister pressed. “This sort of smeg happens to us every week, it's never made you this grotty before.” He tapped his fingers against Rimmer’s hip. “So come on. Spit it out.” 

At the hologram’s refusal to reply, Lister patiently prepped the bait instead. His tongue rolled thoughtfully around his mouth as it searched sarcastically for the right answer. 

“Lemme guess - I didn't tidy up me nail clippings after I trimmed them last night? I forgot to put the lid on the toothpaste this mornin’?” Lister snorted in amusement. “I mean, let's face it. Getting your priorities straight has never been one of your fortes.”

Lister held back a smirk at the resulting growl that purred in his ear. Finally, the man bit.

“Funnily enough, it's _your_ priorities that I was beginning to question,” Rimmer snapped. With the dam walls blown, the grievances came spilling through. “You may recall that you promised to disconnect the protocol that ties my projection to your life-span?” There was an accusing silence. “And how's _that_ going?” he prompted pointedly through gritted teeth.

_Ohhhh smeg._

Lister’s mind ran through quite the collective of curses until he remembered that his mouth should probably be doing a bit more talking right now. “Ah. I meant to tell you about that - ” He was rather glad that his pained wince wouldn't be seen. 

“Well it's a bit smegging late now!” came the fuming reply. “I found out for myself during a routine projection check this morning!” Rimmer finally glared over his shoulder, clambering to snare an impossible eye contact. “Why the smeg haven't you disconnected it?!”

Lister kept his gaze steadfastly forwards. “Look, I know I promised I'd sort it - ”

“Yes,” Rimmer ground out. “A year ago.”

“ - but I - er - I've been busy?” he fumbled awkwardly. Far from a water-tight lie, it began to sink rapidly, waving a pathetic white flag.

Rimmer thrust back the excuse like faulty goods, because sure as hell he wasn't buying it. “This isn't a case of not putting a shelf up in the Sleeping Quarters, Lister!” he pressed, his lightbee buzzing quite furiously now. “We’re talking about my entire bloody existence being wholly dependent on yours!”

“I know, man, it’s important,” Lister soothed earnestly. “Honestly, I get that.”

But rather than the tirade of abuse that Lister was expecting, the hologram fell thoughtfully quiet at the honest conviction of his words. “And contrary to popular belief, I'm not an idiot,” he continued, his voice now slowly returning to the vague levels of his normal register. “Now how about you cut the crap and do me the courtesy of telling me the truth this time?”

Lister silently winced a second time. Dammit, the man didn't even need to see his face to know he'd been lying. Eventually he sighed his relent.

“Because it's a JMC default protocol, it needed someone of a higher rank to reverse it,” he explained quietly. And with an awkward swallow, added, “An officer.”

Rimmer gave a comprehending sigh of his own. “Because they never expected a couple of smegging vending machine repairmen to be the only crewmembers left on board,” he grumbled, though his heart clearly wasn't it.

Feeling the hologram sink back to rest his neck against his head, Lister nuzzled him gently in wordless understanding. What they lacked in similarity when it came to height, they made up for in the compatibility of opposition; the pair slotting together seamlessly in a series of curves. 

“I thought it would be best if you didn't know,” Lister mumbled. “I didn't want you to get upset about it.”

“You really need to address that ‘thinking’ habit of yours, you know,” Rimmer bit back lightly. “It's really doing you no favours.” He fell silent for a moment before his voice dropped, low yet sincere. “Thanks for trying, anyway.”

Lister gave a small nod that would be felt but not seen. His eyes pinched as he took in the sounds and smells of the GELF village beyond the open doorway; a distant world so very far from where they'd first met.

“For what it's worth?” Lister gently turned his head. “Sure as smeg, I can't live without you either,” he whispered.

Rimmer didn't turn back to face him. Instead, he felt long, lean fingers reach back to curl around his, and he latched onto them without thinking. A faint glow began to pulse in the muggy, dim light.

Lister had barely opened his mouth to ask when the firm, stiff words shut it again.

“Don’t. Say. Anything.”

 

Several weeks later, when Herring promoted him to Officer and then Lieutenant, Rimmer gleefully detailed a list of changes on board ship that he was now eligible to make.

And although a hard, deep-seated part of him quietly revelled in exacting his revenge on Lister for their capture on the GELF planet, he couldn't bring himself to remove the entanglement protocol. 

“Til death us do _part_ ” wasn't a vow he was interested in making. Because when it came down to it, despite the countless arguments and never-ending insults, he loved the man far beyond the mortal limitations of that pledge. He realised that he had no intention of them parting.

In the end, it was the simplest premise in the Universe. They couldn't live without one another. So when the time eventually came, they would go together.

Of course, he'd never tell Lister that. After all, he wasn't some romantic sap.


End file.
